A Time Such As This

A mentor and friend said to me a couple of weeks ago, "We want things to be just like they were before, but they can't be. God has us here now and will make this into something we don't want to miss out on." Those words struck me because I definitely want things to be like before. I want them to be like in this picture. 

This was September of 2016. I was lifting weights and doing cardio 7 days a week (sometimes for hours at a time), I had just finished my first Whole 30 and was eating super healthy, I was much thinner and confident, I was in heels without feeling like my ankles would snap, I had a genuine smile because I felt good. Things were good.

Today I am in a flare or this no-name diagnosis that we can't pinpoint. I can't weight lift or run anymore. I am overweight and not confident. I can't eat certain foods less I suffer the consequences. My body hurts and a smile is forced most of the time.

As I continue to process her words I keep thinking about what it feels like to be like I was. It is hard not to want that. However, I begin to see her point. 

One of my favorite Bible stories is the story of the Jewish girl, Hadassah (Esther) in the Book of Esther. This woman was one who had everything going pretty well and then in a moment everything changed. She was whisked away from her home, family, friends, and community of fellow believers and taken to the king. After a long time becoming "worthy of the king" she was then made the Queen of Persia. When plots arise to kill the Jews in the land it is up to her to be their deliverer. In one of my favorite verses, her uncle tells her, "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

Who knows if I have come to this place in my life for a time such as this? There has to be a reason for this season of life. God does not do things with a lack of intentionality. It is terrible, I won't cover that up. Maybe underneath the terrible, hopelessness is a reason.

Has God started a season in your life that feels like He isn't even there? Like you have been forgotten and that there seems to be no end in sight? Maybe your health condition is unknown, maybe your job is unfulfilling, maybe your marriage is struggling, maybe you don't feel like a good parent, maybe you try so hard to be a good friend and no one reciprocates. Maybe life just sucks. Like really sucks.

If you are in a season like this hear me out, GOD HAS NOT FORGOTTEN YOU. He is for you and He is not against you. In fact, nothing that tries to stand against you will prevail. We don't have to change who we put our hope in, we need to change our perspective.

Do you think Esther went into the Persian king thinking: "Awesome! I can use this new situation for the greater good!" No, she probably thought something more like: "Being a queen is not what I wanted. The fortune and power has no effect on the way I feel. I feel purposeless, hopeless, and most of all lonely. Why did this happen to me of all people?"

How many of us connect with that exact thought pattern, "Why me?" Well, my friend, that question is exactly what we need to be asking ourselves, but let's change the perspective. "Why have I been brought to this and what is the greater purpose for my life? Why am I chosen to go through this hardship and how can I use it for God's Glory?"

I struggle so much with this. When the day is terrible and the depression hits my mind does not go to the latter question. I writhe in self-pity and feel less than useless. So, today I am making a commitment to myself that I will put things into perspective. I will see the good. I will use what I have to do what I can.

I have my voice. I hadn't thought of that before. Even when my body hurts too much to move off of the couch or bed I still have my voice through the written word. And EVEN when my hands are stiff and hurt I still have talk to text! haha

So, my fellow fighters in life. Find perspective. See the good. Seek out the light. Pinpoint what it is you are to be used for. Because who knows....maybe you have come to this point in your life for a time such as this.